Late 2007: Feeling drawn to adoption. Start attending informational meetings for local agencies. Discover limited options for singles.
February 2008: Apply to and am approved for Agency #1's Vietnam program. Begin paperwork. First home study meeting with social worker.
March 2008: Ellie turns two in Mekele, Ethiopia.
April 2008: Mail adoption application to U.S. immigration department (USCIS) for approval to adopt internationally. Agency #1 restricts its wait list to less than 100 in light of Vietnam program changes. I am number 251. Agency #1 has no other programs that accept singles- refers me to Agency #2. Apply and am accepted to Agency #2 one week before announcement from Vietnam that the program will shut down after expiration in June. Agency #2 has no other eligible programs.
May 2008: Second home study visit. I am a woman without country since I am between agencies and looking for programs in other countries that will accept singles. Social worker refers me to Agency #3's Ethiopia program. Apply.
June 2008: Home study complete. Agency #3 approves application and home study and I start gathering documents for the dossier to be sent to Ethiopia for consideration. Flashback to college application process and realize it was far more pleasant.
July 2008: The Ethiopian ministry that regulates adoptions issues a statement that two parent families are preferred and that singles are only to be considered as a last resort. No information on whether/how this affects the current process. I console myself with expensive shoes.
August 2008: Digitally fingerprinted for USCIS application. Home study finalized and mailed to USCIS. Still waiting on that approval letter from USCIS. Can't get on Ethiopian wait list without it.
September 2008: After 5 months the USCIS approval letter arrives! Dossier sent for authentication by county, state and U.S. Embassy officials.
October 2008: Dossier Federal Expressed to ministry in Ethiopia for translation and processing. Takes detour through Paris on its way to Addis Ababa. :)
November 2008: Ethiopian ministry announces new rule that limits adoptions for singles - only 10 per agency per year. Agency #3 announces new wait list for singles. I am number 23. Estimated referral date Fall 2010- Spring 2011. Lots of crying. Decide to stay on wait list while reviewing alternate options.
December 2008: Agency #3 advises I am not eligible for any of its domestic programs due to single status. Research other agencies. Move up to number 22 on wait list. Realization that the Ethiopia adoption may never happen due to additional probable restrictions.
January 2009: More research, informational meetings for domestic agencies. Ellie is placed for adoption at state orphanage in Mekele, Ethiopia.
February 2009: Orientation meeting for domestic Agency #4. Ellie is taken to care center in Addis Ababa and is eligible for adoption.
March 2009: Apply to Agency #4 and update home study. Ellie turns three.
April 2009: Restriction on singles not being enforced by courts in Ethiopia. Agency #3 merges singles into main wait list according to dossier filing date. Am now at the top of the wait list. Withdraw application with Agency #4.
May 11, 2009: I see this face in an email from my case worker:
And just like that, I had a daughter.
So, of course I am teary as I read this - as I recall every step of the way. And the frustration. And the consolation shoes, which are not nearly as gorgeous as your daughter. And, I know, that God had Ellie in mind for you all along. You two fit like a glove. And I love her, as if she were my own real niece. Because, well, really - she is.
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful and beautiful story, with a beautiful daughter at the end. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteUm, sweetest blog post ever--dry humor and all. Simply put, the world works in mysterious yet marvelous ways. It happens just as it supposed to happen. You and Ellie were always meant to be together!
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