Friday, June 4, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
How I Became a Mom - The Long Version
Early 2007: Start thinking about having a child at 35. Or buying a tiny Mercedes. Begin pondering The 35 Plan. Begin researching adoption programs and frozen pops. Research adoption agencies, domestic vs. international programs and sperm donors. Not researching the Mercedes.
Late 2007: Feeling drawn to adoption. Start attending informational meetings for local agencies. Discover limited options for singles.
February 2008: Apply to and am approved for Agency #1's Vietnam program. Begin paperwork. First home study meeting with social worker.
March 2008: Ellie turns two in Mekele, Ethiopia.
April 2008: Mail adoption application to U.S. immigration department (USCIS) for approval to adopt internationally. Agency #1 restricts its wait list to less than 100 in light of Vietnam program changes. I am number 251. Agency #1 has no other programs that accept singles- refers me to Agency #2. Apply and am accepted to Agency #2 one week before announcement from Vietnam that the program will shut down after expiration in June. Agency #2 has no other eligible programs.
May 2008: Second home study visit. I am a woman without country since I am between agencies and looking for programs in other countries that will accept singles. Social worker refers me to Agency #3's Ethiopia program. Apply.
June 2008: Home study complete. Agency #3 approves application and home study and I start gathering documents for the dossier to be sent to Ethiopia for consideration. Flashback to college application process and realize it was far more pleasant.
July 2008: The Ethiopian ministry that regulates adoptions issues a statement that two parent families are preferred and that singles are only to be considered as a last resort. No information on whether/how this affects the current process. I console myself with expensive shoes.
August 2008: Digitally fingerprinted for USCIS application. Home study finalized and mailed to USCIS. Still waiting on that approval letter from USCIS. Can't get on Ethiopian wait list without it.
September 2008: After 5 months the USCIS approval letter arrives! Dossier sent for authentication by county, state and U.S. Embassy officials.
October 2008: Dossier Federal Expressed to ministry in Ethiopia for translation and processing. Takes detour through Paris on its way to Addis Ababa. :)
November 2008: Ethiopian ministry announces new rule that limits adoptions for singles - only 10 per agency per year. Agency #3 announces new wait list for singles. I am number 23. Estimated referral date Fall 2010- Spring 2011. Lots of crying. Decide to stay on wait list while reviewing alternate options.
December 2008: Agency #3 advises I am not eligible for any of its domestic programs due to single status. Research other agencies. Move up to number 22 on wait list. Realization that the Ethiopia adoption may never happen due to additional probable restrictions.
January 2009: More research, informational meetings for domestic agencies. Ellie is placed for adoption at state orphanage in Mekele, Ethiopia.
February 2009: Orientation meeting for domestic Agency #4. Ellie is taken to care center in Addis Ababa and is eligible for adoption.
March 2009: Apply to Agency #4 and update home study. Ellie turns three.
April 2009: Restriction on singles not being enforced by courts in Ethiopia. Agency #3 merges singles into main wait list according to dossier filing date. Am now at the top of the wait list. Withdraw application with Agency #4.
May 11, 2009: I see this face in an email from my case worker:
And just like that, I had a daughter.
Late 2007: Feeling drawn to adoption. Start attending informational meetings for local agencies. Discover limited options for singles.
February 2008: Apply to and am approved for Agency #1's Vietnam program. Begin paperwork. First home study meeting with social worker.
March 2008: Ellie turns two in Mekele, Ethiopia.
April 2008: Mail adoption application to U.S. immigration department (USCIS) for approval to adopt internationally. Agency #1 restricts its wait list to less than 100 in light of Vietnam program changes. I am number 251. Agency #1 has no other programs that accept singles- refers me to Agency #2. Apply and am accepted to Agency #2 one week before announcement from Vietnam that the program will shut down after expiration in June. Agency #2 has no other eligible programs.
May 2008: Second home study visit. I am a woman without country since I am between agencies and looking for programs in other countries that will accept singles. Social worker refers me to Agency #3's Ethiopia program. Apply.
June 2008: Home study complete. Agency #3 approves application and home study and I start gathering documents for the dossier to be sent to Ethiopia for consideration. Flashback to college application process and realize it was far more pleasant.
July 2008: The Ethiopian ministry that regulates adoptions issues a statement that two parent families are preferred and that singles are only to be considered as a last resort. No information on whether/how this affects the current process. I console myself with expensive shoes.
August 2008: Digitally fingerprinted for USCIS application. Home study finalized and mailed to USCIS. Still waiting on that approval letter from USCIS. Can't get on Ethiopian wait list without it.
September 2008: After 5 months the USCIS approval letter arrives! Dossier sent for authentication by county, state and U.S. Embassy officials.
October 2008: Dossier Federal Expressed to ministry in Ethiopia for translation and processing. Takes detour through Paris on its way to Addis Ababa. :)
November 2008: Ethiopian ministry announces new rule that limits adoptions for singles - only 10 per agency per year. Agency #3 announces new wait list for singles. I am number 23. Estimated referral date Fall 2010- Spring 2011. Lots of crying. Decide to stay on wait list while reviewing alternate options.
December 2008: Agency #3 advises I am not eligible for any of its domestic programs due to single status. Research other agencies. Move up to number 22 on wait list. Realization that the Ethiopia adoption may never happen due to additional probable restrictions.
January 2009: More research, informational meetings for domestic agencies. Ellie is placed for adoption at state orphanage in Mekele, Ethiopia.
February 2009: Orientation meeting for domestic Agency #4. Ellie is taken to care center in Addis Ababa and is eligible for adoption.
March 2009: Apply to Agency #4 and update home study. Ellie turns three.
April 2009: Restriction on singles not being enforced by courts in Ethiopia. Agency #3 merges singles into main wait list according to dossier filing date. Am now at the top of the wait list. Withdraw application with Agency #4.
May 11, 2009: I see this face in an email from my case worker:
And just like that, I had a daughter.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Quotable Ellie
Some quotes from the past few months:
"I am a very girl, Mommy. A very, very girl."
"Mommy can't I please, please, pul-eeze just play with everything?"
"Hey, you need to pull your pants up."
"Ponytails is awesome."
"E: Why do we always go to school?
Me: Because it's the place where we do our learning.
E: And wood chips. It's the place for wood chips."
"Mommy, I love you for all the weeks."
and finally...
"Ladies don't eat trees."
Paging Dr. Raiden...
Prophetic? I hope so. I also hope when she's sporting scrubs as an adult she won't do so with her skirt sticking out the back of her pants.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Thanks Music Fairy!
Who is the nice music fairy who sent us this fab CD this week? I remember having a conversation with someone about this band but can't remember who - maybe at Kelly's wedding where the wine may have contributed to my amnesia? Music Fairy, please identify yourself so we can thank you. "Where's the Music?" renders Ellie hysterical with laughter in the car.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Birthday Round Up
The birthday extravaganza began Friday night with pizza and birthday cake with Bubbie and Dadaddy. She opened her presents from me - a silver tea service for "fancy" tea parties, some wipe off alphabet and number books and the Princess and the Frog on DVD. Then she opened her presents from Aunt Georgie, Uncle Harry and cousins Christopher and Suzanne, which included what has turned out to be her favorite present so far - binoculars
Not sure where she got the idea, but she actually requested these for her birthday a couple weeks ago. She's enjoyed wearing them in the car to monitor rooftops and traffic lights as we drive. They also came in handy at Central Market to see things on the top shelves.
Saturday afternoon our friends the Rileys came to town. Ellie and Jackson and Alice Anne played with pretty much every toy in the house and enjoyed their sleepover. I have no pictures of them, because I'm lame and often forget I have a camera when there's something special to take pictures of.
Sunday we and the Rileys enjoyed lunch at Kincaid's and then headed to Little Gym for the party. Ellie got a little more adventurous than the last time we were there, and decided to try out the uneven bars and the balance beam. Her favorite was the bouncy bridge. I'm trying to figure out the logistics of renovating a room in our house to install something like this. I think it could guarantee an early bedtime on a regular basis.
Ellie thoroughly enjoyed her party, with the exception of one crying jag after she blew her candle out at the beginning of everyone singing Happy Birthday and then got embarrassed when we relit it and told her to blow it out again. The combination of overstimulation, no nap and a long, tiring weekend of celebration was just too much for the poor bunny. She rallied and enjoyed the rest of the party, although in the parking lot she told me she was "big tired" and needed to go to bed. Once we got home she got a second wind and we snuck in some outside play time before crashing into bed. All in all I think we made a pretty good first birthday impression on this little girl!
And so begins her fourth trip around the sun - enjoy the ride, kiddo!
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